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Nathan Kitchen is president of Affirmation: LGBTQ Mormons, Families & Friends, a nonprofit that supports LGBTQ individuals and their families as they navigate the intersections they occupy in life, including the ways they interact with the Mormon church, whether they’re members or not. Kitchen, an alumnus of BYU, spoke with me to discuss the changes and ambiguity in the honor code, its impact on students, and what could instead be done to create a safer and more loving environment for LGBTQ individuals.
The anchor in each of our lives, whoever it is, who’s there when the times get tough, who helps our boat stay afloat and stop rocking so much in the storm until things calm down again, and who assures us that it will.
In times like these, community is so important. We know that there may be many in our community feeling anxious and isolated right now. We are blessed to be living in a time where we can continue to connect with others through various technological channels and that includes connecting with the Affirmation Community.
As I began my drive, I viewed the hillsides, fields, and woodlands here in upstate New York. Such scenery has become my chapel of holy reflection, and I was lost in the beauty of my surroundings. Despite the fact that the snows have only just receded and the color scheme is still tawny, slate, and charcoal, I still see God’s creation in all of it. I find God in nature, and God finds me there, too.
There is no mention in Church policy of any prohibition of any form of physical intimacy for unmarried couples of any sexual orientation outside of abstaining from sexual relations. It’s not unreasonable that living a chaste and virtuous life at BYU would mean anything different than what has been expected of students their whole lives as active and worthy members of the Church.
How do I handle this anger I’m feeling and still be authentic? How do I bridle these passions, and channel this anger so I can feel Christlike love again? The Lord and I talked it over quite a bit in the past week, and I’ve found an answer. It’s not everyone’s answer, but it’s mine.
All students have the right, regardless of sexual orientation to enjoy chaste, affectionate public behavior without any fear of reprisal. LGB students are worthy of the same rights, protections, and freedom of loving expressions which are afforded their heterosexual peers.
A small group of students and faculty looking to create an LGBTQ support group at Brigham Young University-Hawaii joined forces with Affirmation to reorganize the chapter for the island. Their first event attracted over 45 LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and their allies and their Facebook group has surged to over 100 members and counting.
You can claim change when any privileges available to heterosexual people are available to homosexual people and any privileges available to cisgender people are available to transgender and gender non-binary people. Until then, we all have work to do for our marginalized population of LGBTQ students.